The first two weeks are flashing before my eyes but also feel very grueling. Especially in the first month, I am prowling the classroom. I am a lion. Hear me roar. Two of my classes are back to back for a 100 minutes with 8 minute passing periods. I did the arithmetic and I stand and prowl for 3 hr and 40 min straight. Coming from a previously sedentary summer, it's safe to say my body is in small states of confusion and weariness.
Yet somehow, this is still better ... infinitely better.. than my first year teaching. One of the biggest changes is that I'm addressing problems more directly. I've spent most of my life avoiding problems and hoping things will either resolve themselves or go away. I've found that as a teacher- problems only go in one direction: bigger. I've been interlacing math content with culture building activities. Today, I asked students to share a cultural practice or tradition so that we got a sense of who we are as people walking into the classroom. In one period, I could sense that students weren't buying in. "Why are we doing this? This is math class." I guess all that mumbo jumbo about learning together as a community wasn't cutting it. The problem is... that even if most of the class is cool with an idea quietly, a few vocal minority can turn the class around really quickly. It's one of those kind of remarks I might have stumbled through and proceeded on as if nothing happened. I gathered my thoughts and said, "I apologize that you don't find this a worthwhile activity. I want people here to know each other and know their backgrounds and histories better." I had responded for now, but made a note in the back of my mind to directly address it with her later. Then I gave my own example. I had crafted it beforehand. It was time to work the crowd. I sold my story. Students were nodding along as they journeyed through my early years without Thanksgivings. I saw a few faces that were grossed out when I mentioned kimchi- a spicy pickled cabbage. I had them hooked. They spent a few minutes crafting their own memories and I bee-lined to the disgruntled student. She had her eyes ready to roll. I said: I know you might not find this a valuable activity. And I can't force you to do it. She said: I'm not going to. I responded: Let me explain why I'm doing this. When I was a student in high school, I always felt like I had to leave some part of me at the door. Maybe it was because I'm from a Korean family with different values and maybe it was because I never felt very comfortable in a white-centric environment, but I felt like I had to be a different person to succeed. I'm doing this activity because I want people to know that whatever their background, history, or culture, they are welcome here. And I want you to know, whatever your background or history, who you are now, is welcome here. I don't usually say something so direct, and honestly- I'm not even sure that I knew would come out of my mouth. She didn't respond, but I observed a subtle yet noticeable shift in her attitude toward the class and the activity. We had a few people share their stories aloud- from New Years on a boat, to making Saturday deliveries with dad, to soccer Sundays, we listened and clapped as people shared. We'll definitely need a LOT more reinforcement before our class becomes a community but I'm hoping to take strides there. And mostly I'm hoping that responding to students and problems immediately is going to be way better than previous years. okay, I'm exhausted. next time I'll post a mistake making activity that students completed.
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This week, I asked a friend/ geometry pro/ retired math teacher/ political campaigner, Evie, to consider helping me lesson plan and actually see me teach it out. I'm not sure what prompted me, and I wasn't worried that my classes were falling to pieces. I guess I wanted another perspective and someone to help me stretch.
On a lovely Saturday morning, I went to her house where I set my textbook next to a breakfast spread of Irish soda bread, boiled eggs, brie, blackberries, honey, and coffee. It was as wonderful as it sounds. We started chatting about the law of sines and her eyes lit up as she scanned through her memory of massive archives. We spent talking about how to show a derivation of the law of sines. Evie suggested I show a statement and ask the students if it was true or false. Brilliant. One of the challenging things about showing a proof is getting a gauge of if students are actually following you or not. This was a easy check. We talked about having a problem that could use the law of sines but could also be found without it. I decided to turn it into my class challenge problem. I really gained a lot from her insight, the way she thought about things, and the way she was able to connect ideas. She came to my last period class to observe it all happen in action. I think it's a whole different beast to plan a lesson out and then to watch it unfold in real life. During class, I got hung up on the few students who were behind or kept interrupting me as we went over the derivation. I felt spent by the end of the period. Evie had gone to different groups, giving them hints. It was a nice to have another body in the room, especially one who had helped plan the same lesson. She came up to me at the end of class and simply said, "That was great!" Perspective. I had been stressing about so many little things, and didn't really get a chance to enjoy what was going on that was great. Students brains were fried! I had done my job. They were at max capacity! Some kids came from an exhausting PE class ready to turn off, but they kept pushing on. Some students deeply understood the derivation. Some students had light bulb moments. Not everyone, but hey. I'm not Ash Ketchum here.. A retired teacher saying "This lesson went great" let me take a step back and be thankful. So much work had gone into getting my class to be willing to engage in challenges, work together, turn their brains on. I had forgotten about it all. I realized I have so much to learn from people who've walked the path. What took Evie seconds to think of would have taken me hours. And maybe one day I'll be able to plan great lessons in minutes, but it got me thinking--- I wish teaching was more collaborative. That it included more of the HEART stuff asking questions more like "Are students struggling?", "Are they thinking conceptually?", "Can they make sense of this?" instead of things like "We're covering questions 1-10 on unit 8.2" Even better, if we could watch our lessons as we've created them unfold in real life. That sounds like good PD to me. These last two days (monday/tuesday), I've been thinking about the phrase "fruit of your labor." I've been able to see a seedling these last two days. figuratively of course. I'm terrible at real gardening. I have the opposite of a green thumb. a red thumb? I digress.
I am and have been stressed. Trying to create a collaborative classroom, where kids care about each other and want to help each other learn... it's not an easy thing to set up. I'm still in the process but my classes have been for one reason or another running smoothly these last two days. (Who knows what the next two days will look like). I'm seeing kids... helping each other. Group leaders actually leading, checking work of their peers. More students asking each other before asking me. I have to enjoy these moments when I can, because everyday brings its own challenges. |
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