I got a gift today from my student, but I don't know what to think.
A month ago, I said hello in the hallway. "Hi Anna." "Hi Ms. Song." tells her friend under her breath, "She's my math teacher... She doesn't teach sh**." I whipped my head around, "That's rude!" and walked away. I didn't really know what else to say or do and she had never meant for me to hear those words. We hadn't had the best relationship. I felt like she was constantly disruptive and antagonistic and she felt like I explained things too quickly and my methods were ineffective. I had already asked her out in the hallway multiple times. I always smiled at her and said hello but it probably felt hollow. I secretly felt she hated me, and while that shouldn't really get to a teacher's psyche, I'll tell you- it does. The comment to her friend in the hall confirmed my fears. For a week or two, she was on eggshells around me. I had never brought up the comment that she made again; I never asked for resolution. And I was okay that she was uneasy because I wasn't really at a place to forgive. A week later, I made a conscious risk/choice to give her the role of group leader. At a magnet school, this was not just an honor but also a status symbol. She took it on imperfectly but with purpose and effort to the best of her ability. In her group, I've had interventions and also shown that I have faith in her capabilities. So she gave me a gift today, covered in tissue paper, wrapped with an old ribbon. It was a book. I thought it was a joke. She said, "this is for you." I said, "oh ok, huh." My initial reaction was that she had just wrapped up one of her English novels from school and gave it to me. So I waited a while, until after they started their test. I tentatively opened it. It was a journal. A really nice journal. Now, my guess is that her mom bought some gifts for teachers but I had assumed the worst. I wrote her a note thanking her for her thoughtful gift- I should have apologized my lackluster acceptance. It's a shielding mechanism. I didn't want to show genuine appreciation because I was afraid that this was some kind of prank. Another day that reminds me I have a lot to learn. Merry Christmas.
0 Comments
Students retook a test on Friday after school and a few students stayed later. Five of us ended up chatting and just having conversation. It was definitely a nice change of pace, and they are such great kids. We talked about homemade tamales, the atrocity of Taco Bell, Vans vs. Crocs, and teenager terminology. They quickly ran toward the board and wrote all sorts of slang with little definitions. As I was chatting with them, I couldn't help but think how much I really needed to get grading done. Was it worth it? To spend an evening with kids just for fun? I honestly struggle with this and lean toward no. I guess I'm still using an efficiency model. My relationships with students can pull students toward learning or at least passing. Shouldn't I use my energy and time for the kids who really need it? But... then again, people aren't machines. We're not input output models. And who can know what time is well spent or not?
Was this a good use of my time? Am I asking the wrong question? I'll be honest... for every one good thing I do as a teacher, I can name at least 10 things that go wrong (with my help of course.) I was talking to my mentor (Rochelle Gutiérrez) about how we only ever share things about our teaching when its sunshine and roses... or things about our classroom that show we're wonderful teachers. But I think this is the trap that we fell into as students and continue to perpetuate. Failing is not REALLY part success and if you ARE failing, you should keep that secret until you've succeeded. But anyone who examines that statement knows how bogus it is. If we really think failure is going to lead to improvement, then we should be sharing them with others. Just know, fellow teachers, you are not alone.
Well here goes, my failure. Today. In one my classes, I noticed that student motivation was down. They were in class for a looong time (block period) and it was just work work work. But I was frustrated. The kinds of things I was asking my students to do was within their capabilities but they just didn't want to do anything. I noticed one particular group make almost no progress, and in that particular group, a student who appeared to me to be doing nothing most of the time. After 15 minutes, I finally went up to the group, to the student, and said, "Ok, I'm going to ask you to move seats. You're clearly not doing anything." S: No. And there it was. the power struggle had to play out. even as it was playing out, I saw how I had already messed up. I couldn't lose face. T: This isn't a request. You're distracting others; I'm asking you to move. S: No, I'm doing work. T: Why are you making this into a power struggle? I'm asking for something simple. You just need to move. S: I don't understand why I have to. It's not going to change anything. I'm getting work done here. T: I asked you to move please move S: No. I don't want to. T: Don't turn this into larger consequences for something so simple. S: (clearly getting more and more frustrated) fine. If I won, why did it feel like I lost? At the first available moment, I sat next to him and explained my perspective. I asked him if he disagreed. He did. I tried to coax a conversation out of him so I could better understand what he was thinking, but the damage had been done. He did do some work and his group focused better without him there, but the cost was not worth it. Especially for the last 15 minutes of class. I've never really given much thought to how to respond to dysfunctional groups other than useless phrases like, "Get through the work." Instead I either ignore the problem or I split them up. It's not really a good solution. This summer I heard Zach Herrmann talk about an instance when he intervened between group members so that they would be able to function. It got me thinking... maybe this is possible. Students need to be able to work with other people in their future careers... they also need to be able to do it now. They should have opportunities to empathize and settle differences in high school.
On Tuesday, I saw one of my groups unraveling. During group time, they were silently working on their own with scowls on their faces. I decided to intervene. T: So, Ali what's wrong? Ali: nothing. honestly, I dont think we should work together. T: Okay, well you guys are all intelligent competent people. Let's talk this out. Are they not working with you? Ali: Some people in this group don't take the work seriously. (Haily and Jory immediately get defensive.) T: Okay, so what's the deal? Do you think Jory is not taking it seriously? Ali: Yeah. He doesn't really do the work and he's always joking around or doing his own thing. Haily: Yeah, and we asked him POLITELY not to say answers when we're working on something, but he does it anyway. Jory: ok whatever. You guys said "SHUT UP Jory." That's not polite. Haily: That was only after the fifth time we needed to say it. (Mind you this was as they were talking over each other.) T: Ali, tell me what Jory is doing that is bothering you. Jory, I just want you to listen. Ali: He just works with Kim the whole time and doesn't really participate with the group. And he is always messing around or doing something else. (Jory tries to interject) T: Jory, I just need you to listen right now. Haily: Yeah, he just ignores us when we're talking to him. T: Jory, do you agree? Jory: No. I'm working some of the time. And they're NOT polite. They just say, "Stop or shut up." I see I've already spent at least five minutes with this group. I'm worried about time. T: Okay, Ali, Hailey, what do you need from Jory so this group can function? Jory, I want you to just listen. Ali: He should stop playing around so much.. and actually include us instead of just Kim. T: Alright, Jory, what do you need from Haily and Ali so this group can function? Jory: I donno T: Well, what upsets you? Is it that you feel disrespected? Jory: Yeah, they need to stop telling me to shut up. Ali: We never did! T: Okay, that might be true, but that's how he hears it. Right? T: Alright, Jory, you need to stop playing around so much. You have to be able to kick it into gear for your group members. Haily, Ali, I need you to start talking to Jory respectfully so he doesn't feel like he's being singled out. You guys have 10 minutes left. I know you can work together. So, use these 10 minutes wisely. I walked away... hoping it worked. hoping I wouldn't turn around and see another argument. Holy crap! They all gathered onto one side of the table and started working together on some challenging circle problems. They were focused and working together the rest of the 10 minutes. While 10 minutes is a short time, this was a MAJOR success. It was my first time mediating between student groups... and right now I think it's TOTALLY worth it! *names have been changed. I don't like to give automatic detentions for tardies... Sometimes people are late. And after school is over, there is no instance where you will get a detention because you're late. Most of the time, you just explain why you were late and apologize. You try not to make a habit of it. One of my mentors and I had been trying to problem solve two years ago. Problem: Kids come in late. Solution: She suggested that I could have a post-it system were kids explain why they were late.
I think a natural response is, "What if they lie?" and "What if they're late every day?" As for the lying one... I think that's always possible, but I want to start the year trusting students until they show me a reason not to. (not the other way around: don't trust them until they earn it.) And... honestly, lots of students tell the truth. As for the late every day part, I think that one person could have a different consequence than the entire class. I'm not yet sure what that is though. As students come in through the door (late), I hand them a post it and ask them to put it on my desk with their names on it once they explain why they were late. This is what adults do. They explain to others why they were late. And sometimes it makes a lot of sense. "I had seven students in my group. Were there 6 in yours?" This Friday, this quote came out of the lips of NOT a teacher but a student in my class. He was one of my assigned group leaders for a differentiated activity that we were doing in class. He was asking this to another group leader in my class and both of them saw their groups as their own students.
I've never been more proud. I know that in a lot of classes, the struggling students get the majority of attention by the teacher while excelling students sit quietly working on their problems until they're done. Neither group really feels a part of any kind of classroom community. just bodies in a room. Unless... they're talking to each other. Having students continually work together and push each other to help each other has been helpful on days when I simply can't be 6 places at once. And I don't need to be! Sometimes, I had groups of 7 students in one group (usually a logistical and management nightmare) working very hard for most of the period because they had a group leader to guide them through their work. They felt like they could help each other and get help if they needed to. It helped that the task was differentiated to their needs and that they were able to choose which assignment best fit where they were. It helped that students were used to working together and listening to each other. As much as possible, I take a step away from the groups so that they don't even notice me. It's so they recognize their own expertise and forces conversation with each other. So, how do I assess progress on individual students if I'm mostly steering away from groups? Toward the end, I call each group leader one by one outside in the hallway and ask for a (literally) 1 minute assessment of where each of their members are. I get qualitative info like which students are working really hard, which ones are just copying. I also get info like which ones are struggling and which ones are doing well. They are also specific about the types of problems they have difficulty with. This is probably better data than I could have gathered myself. This is only one day, but I'm going to need to continue thinking about how to keep this kind of rigor and intensity in my class more often Micah reminded me that this was something I did was a support class one year. (I had forgotten). I'm adding it hear in case I want to use it again sometime.
After students did poorly on an exam, I asked students how they felt when they didn't understand something. Responses ranged from defeated to stupid. I put all these responses in one column on the board. Then I asked them how they dealt with failure. What was their response? "Shutting down" "Giving up" "Get angry." I put all these answered in the second column without labeling these columns. Lastly, I asked them, "What have been some things you've done to help you feel less frustrated?" The last column had things like, "Listen to music" "Ask for help" "Take a drink of water." I explained to them that the first column was how we felt about our failures, but we didn't have to shut down. That this was an option. If we feel ourselves shutting down, we can find ways to respond in a different way. Students seemed to really feel affected by this, well for a week anyway. Then the weekend came and all was lost. If there is one thing I'm thankful for during my high school years, it was developing a poker face. My close friends may be able to read every single thought on my face, but I've learned in necessary situations, not to show my emotions. This has helped me in teaching more days I can count.
One of my students was disruptive for a good 30 minutes, and I got angrier and angrier. She was doing poorly and was not using the time well. So I asked her to step out in the hallway. And I'm so glad I started calmly. I did not yell, I did not show any emotion. T: So, do you know why I pulled you out here? S: Yes, I was talking and being disruptive, but other kids were too. T: That's true, but most of the time, I heard you carrying conversations for a long time that had nothing to do about math. That was from my perspective, but maybe I saw things wrong. S: Well, I don't get any of it and no one can help me. I'm just not good at math. I never have been. Somewhere in my head, the light bulb went off. A-ha* the root problem revealed. T: So talking to other people... is kind of like a coping mechanism? S: I guess. I donno. T: Tell me what your strengths are. S: I donno... English? I'm good at memorization too. T: Cool, what other things are you good at? S: Making diagrams? T: That's great, those are useful skills to have in math.... I'm seeing that one of the ways your showing your frustration in class is by talking about other things. That makes sense. T: But I can't have you continually be disruptive in class and I also don't want you to feel like you don't understand anything. Here's the deal: You need to come to tutoring before the next class (we have block periods). Otherwise, I can't have you working with a group and you'll be seated alone. She was great the rest of the period. I reminded her in the hallway the next day to come see me for tutoring. She came by and we went through some previous work. She got more and more excited as she realized she was capable of learning. I liked this conversation a lot because I connected with the student first and not the behavior. I also provided an actionable next step with a sensible consequence. Hopefully I can remember to keep calm for more of my student interactions. Update 12/5: The student came back for tutoring a second time and was an angel during class. She was 100% a different person. First let me backtrack. This was an unbelievably difficult month. I'm not sure what exactly made it difficult but it dragged on and on. Students looked at me with hatred in their eyes. Perceived or not, it felt real. It's like all the glitter of the first month and its promises of a glorious school year had finally fallen into a pile of dust. I did not write, because I had nothing good to say. It was a dark time, and I am writing now to make sure I remember next year: November is a dark dark dark time. Hopefully December will be better. I return with renewed strength hoping for a glorious new semester. By February , I may feel dusty again. But here's to the cycle. But that's not what I'm here to write about today. I'm here to write about a quiz idea I tried. Before the quiz, I had three categories that students could choose to work on. Two of the three groups were facilitated by student group leaders. This went fairly well, because students felt that they had someone they could consult with. I "trained" the leaders quickly out in the hall by telling them to give hints instead of answers. I also let them know I had chosen them very specifically because I felt they were up to the task. You should have heard the conversations. I've never seen such intense focus and robust conversations from my most challenging class. Afterward, I gave them a quiz... and it was blank. They had to create their own quiz problems based on what they focused on during the review time. This isn't a new idea by any means, but it is the first time I'm trying it. Some kids had a hard time so I let them use their notes, but they had to write on their quiz that they used their notes (just so I was aware). Grading may be a big of a hassle but it may be worth it. I'll update once they're graded. Still, intuitively it seems like a valid assessment. Below are three examples, each from different groups. There are some kinks, but I'm gonna mull over it. ***Update: 12/11 I still haven't graded these and they haunt me. Either this is unsustainable OR there is a better way to grade them.
|
ms. eugooglesmathematics teacher Archives
September 2016
Categories
All
|