Last year... I felt that building relationships with students was not a strong priority for me. That's partially on the belief that in college (or other future endeavors), relationships aren't what's going to get students to be successful. They would need to find ways to advocate for themselves with or without positive teacher relationships.
I think I've turned a 180. Something's been bugging me about my stance in the back of my head. Part of it is Alfie Kohn's (radical eduation psychologist) words, "Just because things will suck later isn't justification for making them suck now." Another part of it is that relationships help young people decide how they see themselves... and even whether they like a subject or not. With math, that seems particularly important for my students of color. And perhaps selfishly, it also helps a lot with classroom management. I'll be honest- there are students I have good relationships with... and students I have poor relationships with. One student, Jean, (who I have a good relationship with) continued to be distracting throughout class- laughing loudly when I'm going over material or having side conversations during a whole group discussion. I started the conversation: Jean, I love you. I think you're pretty awesome. In class you're being disruptive sometimes. (She claimed she was unaware.) I said, sometimes I'll look at you and that's my way of saying, I need you to focus. Other times, if that doesn't work, I'll call you out in class. But it's not because I'm mad at you or because I don't like you. It's just because I need you to bring it back. You feel me? Jean replied, "I got you." And I realized HOW EASY that was. It was SO much easier to have that conversation because we had a positive relationship already. And I realized it's so much HARDER to have these conversations when I have a poor (or no) relationship with the student. I would get things like "You're singling me out. This is unfair. You're not making sense in class. This is too hard." etc etc.
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Second semester is a month away! Woa, time flies.
First, Happy Martin Luther King Jr day. Especially in times like these, with Laquan McDonald and Eric Garner on our minds. Things definitely need to change. In Chicago Public Schools, teachers (and students) are stressed. The Illinois budget crisis has Chicago borrowing millions at junk bond status. Newer teachers are concerned about whether they'll be RIFfed (Reduction in Force) for second semester. Principals are worried about reprogramming an entire school. Last Friday, half my students were gone. A boycott... or a march... or both. Trying to save our city. It's exhausting to think about... and mostly disheartening. I wonder how teachers can continue to stay in education... especially when they have other options. I'm glad to be in Chicago though. It's an exciting time to be fighting for public education. OK, I'm not gonna lie. Around this time, the honeymoon period between students and teacher is completely gone. And we just look at each other angrily. And I get frustrated with them. Here they are... sitting there... trying their best to do absolutely nothing.
Today is the Monday before the Monday before the first Monday of break. There's pretty much nothing good about this day. I came back from a wonderful weekend vacation from Orlando where I spent Sunday playing mini-golf, eating a 2 hour long breakfast al fresco, and taking a nice swim in the pool. Twenty four hours later: a group of tired teens who hate me. First period did not go well. I dreaded third period. They usually give less effort than my first period, but I decided to try something differently this time. Another teacher reminded me, "It's that time of year. Students are tired and don't want to try. Teachers are tired and don't want to try." I realized how much I had been dropping the ball recently... with grading, with lesson planning, with creating a warm classroom environment. It's no surprise that students would feel the same way in early December. I started third period differently- with empathy. "I know how stressed you've been these past couple weeks. The semester has been grinding. I get it. I want us to be learning today but I also don't want it to feel like there's so much pressure. We're going to go over some things today. Some of you may want to work with me to learn the pre-skills. Others of you will want to try some problems with groups you choose. I don't want this to feel overwhelming." I responded to off task behavior more positively, laughed more, joked around more... The class wasn't perfect, but students did a hell of a lot more than the first period class, and there was so much more positive energy. I had several students goofing off, but I also had 3 students who chose to work with me over their friends so they could feel caught up. I had students teaching other students; some working alone; and some in larger groups. At least for that class, my attitude and my response to them made a LOT of difference. Students are people too (duh). This year by far has been my favorite year as a teacher. I'm more confident with what I'm doing, less emotional, and more strategic. During the summer after my first year teaching, the last thing I wanted to do was to start another school year. Thinking back, if I hadn't struggled so much during those first years, I would be struggling so much more now. If I hadn't encountered students entering my classroom chaotically like a playground, if I hadn't encountered parents saying "you're not helping my child", if I hadn't had stacks of papers to grade, I would be a worse teacher today. Just by having seen something happen before, I feel slightly more able to respond- even if I don't have an immediate solution prepared.
11/23 update: my students were bouncing off the walls today. i still haven't figured out teaching yet. This week I brought back something I haven't done in two years... Review menus. I first got the idea as a combination of Larry Geni's ideas (thegeniproject.org) and a differentiated instruction workshop I went to during my first year of teaching. Basic idea: for each learning goal, offer a menu of options. Activities that are considered a proficient level, pre-skills level, and an "above and beyond" level. Students can choose between the sections and create individual packets to complete. Another teacher and I worked on compiling activities and worksheets. After LOTSA copies were made (hey, options aren't cheap), I was ready to explain how it worked to the class. This simple sheet of paper held a lot of assumptions. I'm giving my students freedom to make decisions on what they were going to do, the time in which they wanted to spend on it... and riskiest of all: WHO they were going to do this work with. This kind of undertaking actually requires a lot of culture building pre-skills to be in place first. 1. Students need to understand my philosophy and expectation of working together, having freedom, and motivation to try. 2. Students need to able to work with each other and help each other learn. 3. Students need to be able to direct their focus when they sit with others 4. Students need to have experienced choice making BEFORE this 5. Students must buy in that selecting work for themselves is in their best interest. Without these pre-skills, crashing and burning is definitely going to happen. I know mostly from first hand experience. So, I gave out this task to my students, explained that each day they would be getting materials and learning for the next learning goal, and then... held my breath. In each class, students bustled toward different sections of the room, chose to sit with their friends (mostly), AND... spent an hour working hard on the problems. I don't think this using a review menu is the best way to learn deep understanding. Those are better addressed with good questions and class discussions. I do think it is a worthwhile method of learning... especially as students start experiencing some choice in what, when, and with who they choose to work. **Update 11/20: My students really have been doing well with this. One comment I got from a student, "I feel like we have more freedom in the class." There are some difficulties of keeping a few student focused. I think the best thing might be to move them away from friends for a day and let them try again the next day. Overall many students understand the purpose of the assignment, work in a way they feel comfortable, and is designed so students can work on what they need. ' I'm currently in Charleston, SC for a combinatorics conference and a joyously nerdy reunion with the Research for Undergrad (and In-service teachers) participants from summer. During the moments of downtime, while listening to presentations I didn't really understand, I started to wonder, "What gets people to love math rather than tolerate it?"
This year I've been teaching a colloquium class- intro to improv- for the first time. I REALLY love improv. I'm not a pro (by any means), but I see how improv is such a great thing for everyone to learn and enjoy. Students have a great time working together, improving, and laughing. Honestly, I don't really feel the same way about my math classroom, because the curriculum does not inherently compel students to work together, improve, and laugh. I'm currently teaching matrices right now, and I know that question will inevitably come: why are we learning this? I've heard a lot of answers to "Why are we learning this?" Most of them have to do with utility and vague fortune telling. "Well, in the future... you might be an engineer. The very specific type of engineer that requires you to apply matrices in a much more complex way that some type of computer will be necessary and the techniques you're using are outdated at best." I think these responses, though marginally honest, don't really address the heart of the question behind the problem. I think often "Why are we learning this?" is more of a statement "Let's not learn this." Let me tell you something: no one in my improv class ever asks: Why are we learning this? So I think back to my summer research program at Illinois State University. I've been through a lot of programs. A few summers back, I had the opportunity to go to Park City Mathematics Institute (PCMI) where we got to play with mathematics through a well developed problem set with 100 other teachers. I thought I understood what it was to do mathematics: great problems, depth in learning, learning with others. But the summer research program challenged my view more... It was like entering a new philosophical space. The biggest difference between PCMI and the summer research program was in creation. We are CREATING mathematics. Something I learned from our mentor and P.I (Dr. Saad El-Zanati): Great researchers are as much about the answer as they are about the next great question. It's hard to describe the impact of participating in mathematics research- I think that's partially because it's something that needs to be experienced rather than told. Which gets me back to my classroom. I don't know how great of a job the traditional curriculum does in getting students to wonder, create, ask, and eventually love mathematics. Er, I do know. and it's not great. I wonder if it's even POSSIBLE to do in the classroom given teachers' many constraints: curriculum, nationally normed tests, college requirements, etc. Maybe the best place to experience mathematics is outside the classroom- like summer camps, tutoring, after-school programs or fairs. Those kinds of things often incur additional cost and are inaccessible for students from low S.E.S. backgrounds. Seems unfair. Students who are most likely to be turned off by mathematics in the traditional classroom are also the least likely to have opportunities outside of the classroom. I've decided to propose a class next year for colloquium... something like Math Research in Graph Theory (or maybe something with more pizzazz). I'm determined to let at least some students get to experience mathematics in such a compelling way that "Why are we learning this" is never a question. I had just spent 30 minutes on an activity today touting the joys and benefits of working in groups and responding to each other think. So I set them on their book work in groups, hoping for the best.
Within 15 minutes, a student - Jori- says to me, "He's not helping me and I find him very rude! I can't work like this." I walked over to Jori's table and see she is pointing at Don, a generally mild mannered student. Jori: He's being rude! I can't stand when people are mean for no reason. Me: Let me hear your perspective. What happened in your eyes? Jori: I asked him for help on a problem and he wouldn't help me. He said, "I'm not going to give you the answer" and looked away. Me: Okay, I hear your perspective. I'd also like to hear Don's- it might not be the same. Don: I thought she was just asking for the answer. I would help her understand but not just give an answer. Me: Sounds like we have a miscom-- Jori: That's not what I was saying! I wasn't even asking for the answer! I just wanted help understanding it. Me: okay, so I hear you- Do you see Don's perspective? Jori: I wasn't asking for the answer! (Jori appears she will cry at any moment now) Me: Don, do you understand that Jori was not asking for just an answer. Don: (disgruntled) I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to sound like that. Me: It looks like Jori has a great contribution to the group by asking a question, and Don, it looks like you might have some progress. Let's talk this out. I watched them ask and explain the question before I walked away. I checked in with them 10 minutes later and they were conversing through the problem set as if nothing had happened. This is my SECOND piece of evidence (in my book) that has shown me that conflict resolution has better effects that splitting groups that don't work well together initially. *Names changed I've been trying to implement more self-assessment every year so that students know where they stand. Last year, I used M-A-T-H (mastery, approaching, tutoring needed, help!). This year, our school has implements a 4-3-2-1 level system that requires a rubric on what is required for a level 1, 2, 3, 4. At first I thought this was stupidly requiring more work with time I don't have. I still think this is on time I don't have, but I don't think it's quite so stupid. The thing that's changed my mind is the rubric must be framed in "I can..." statements. The reason this changes things is now I have to consider what things a student CAN do (and not their deficiencies).
Let's say our learning goal is something like "Create equations and show equivalence." A level 1 would not be "could not solve equations," rather they must attain some kind of knowledge (e.g. I can identify variables in an equation). This is very basic, but it lets students know that there is a minimum level that has been achieved. It's helpful to think about these as LEVELS and not as points. I'm still playing around with this, so we'll see how this goes. One thing I've done recently is have students take a quiz for a given learning goal. Then I find 4-5 samples from their work that demonstrate understanding levels from 1-4. I also provide an answer key. They rotate through samples and grade the samples against the rubric. This is so they have a better idea of the difference between levels. I share what I would have graded the samples and have a quick conversation. This is all to prepare them to self-assess their own quiz. They do this next, provide themselves feedback, and an explanation for why they chose their level. I look at the graded work and explanation and give my own grade. I think eventually students will get good at grading their own work- perhaps good enough that their self-assessment will be what goes in gradebook. The dream lives on. ..my phone is broken so I haven't been able to post student work... but I will when I get a new one! The first two weeks are flashing before my eyes but also feel very grueling. Especially in the first month, I am prowling the classroom. I am a lion. Hear me roar. Two of my classes are back to back for a 100 minutes with 8 minute passing periods. I did the arithmetic and I stand and prowl for 3 hr and 40 min straight. Coming from a previously sedentary summer, it's safe to say my body is in small states of confusion and weariness.
Yet somehow, this is still better ... infinitely better.. than my first year teaching. One of the biggest changes is that I'm addressing problems more directly. I've spent most of my life avoiding problems and hoping things will either resolve themselves or go away. I've found that as a teacher- problems only go in one direction: bigger. I've been interlacing math content with culture building activities. Today, I asked students to share a cultural practice or tradition so that we got a sense of who we are as people walking into the classroom. In one period, I could sense that students weren't buying in. "Why are we doing this? This is math class." I guess all that mumbo jumbo about learning together as a community wasn't cutting it. The problem is... that even if most of the class is cool with an idea quietly, a few vocal minority can turn the class around really quickly. It's one of those kind of remarks I might have stumbled through and proceeded on as if nothing happened. I gathered my thoughts and said, "I apologize that you don't find this a worthwhile activity. I want people here to know each other and know their backgrounds and histories better." I had responded for now, but made a note in the back of my mind to directly address it with her later. Then I gave my own example. I had crafted it beforehand. It was time to work the crowd. I sold my story. Students were nodding along as they journeyed through my early years without Thanksgivings. I saw a few faces that were grossed out when I mentioned kimchi- a spicy pickled cabbage. I had them hooked. They spent a few minutes crafting their own memories and I bee-lined to the disgruntled student. She had her eyes ready to roll. I said: I know you might not find this a valuable activity. And I can't force you to do it. She said: I'm not going to. I responded: Let me explain why I'm doing this. When I was a student in high school, I always felt like I had to leave some part of me at the door. Maybe it was because I'm from a Korean family with different values and maybe it was because I never felt very comfortable in a white-centric environment, but I felt like I had to be a different person to succeed. I'm doing this activity because I want people to know that whatever their background, history, or culture, they are welcome here. And I want you to know, whatever your background or history, who you are now, is welcome here. I don't usually say something so direct, and honestly- I'm not even sure that I knew would come out of my mouth. She didn't respond, but I observed a subtle yet noticeable shift in her attitude toward the class and the activity. We had a few people share their stories aloud- from New Years on a boat, to making Saturday deliveries with dad, to soccer Sundays, we listened and clapped as people shared. We'll definitely need a LOT more reinforcement before our class becomes a community but I'm hoping to take strides there. And mostly I'm hoping that responding to students and problems immediately is going to be way better than previous years. okay, I'm exhausted. next time I'll post a mistake making activity that students completed. I've been M.I.A. for a fat minute, but I'm back now.
First.... some updates: Over the summer, I went to a research experience for undergrads & teachers in math ed. More info here: http://math.illinoisstate.edu/reu/ We got to learn about graph theory, participate in real never-been-done-before research, and run a small one week math camp for high school students. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what I got out of it, but I think I see mathematics with fresh and broader perspective. I see how it's changing and growing, but more importantly- I realized students need to find mathematics fun. Simple idea, super challenging to make happen. I'll continue to think about this throughout the year I'm sure. Second update. Last school year ended- well, not exactly the way I wanted to. I think finishing strong has always been a weakness of mine. From planning the end of a lesson to just drinking a full glass of water without giving up midway. So this is the goal. Finish strong. I thought about what kinds of obstacles I faced last year and I think it mostly came down to classroom management. Don't get me wrong. I've grown immensely from when I was in my first year of teaching, but the truth is- I've always focused on big picture ideas and classroom culture, because classroom management seems so unpleasant. But this is my year to grow as a teacher. I'm currently reading Teach Like a Champion and Tools for Teaching. They give specific actions on how you can respond to negative behaviors and prevent them from happening. I'll share some things about both books as I feel is helpful. One thing I'll mention now though- I think Teach Like a Champion has some good stuff in there, but I"m not sure if my philosophy aligns. They're all about getting the most learning out of every minute- which I think is important, but I think being human is pretty important too. I'm not sure if those two things are always in sync. (<-lol) To be REALLY honest though, I'm not sure how I feel about this upcoming year. I feel pulled in so many directions. At any given time, my brain is thinking about the following: 1. The department is trying to align their standards for Standards Based Grading (or some iteration) and come up with what each level of mastery represents: 1, 2, 3, 4. This is SO time consuming. 2. The union, our contract, and my role in how I can help our schools be properly funded so that black and brown students receive a quality education. 3. Culture building activities and math content for the first two weeks of class 4. Making course decisions on homework assessment, curriculum, and quizzes. 5. How to train my student assistants in the classroom 6. The physical space of the 3 separate classrooms I'll be in. 7. Learning about classroom management so I can be prepared on Day 1. 8. Deciding on bathroom policy, tardies, class chores, absent students... 9. Trying this thing called "math talks" for the first time as a warm up 10. Connecting with other educators in professional groups. 11. How the heck I'm going to memorize 140 students' names. School starts in just a few days. I am. so. stressed. |
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