If there is one thing I'm thankful for during my high school years, it was developing a poker face. My close friends may be able to read every single thought on my face, but I've learned in necessary situations, not to show my emotions. This has helped me in teaching more days I can count.
One of my students was disruptive for a good 30 minutes, and I got angrier and angrier. She was doing poorly and was not using the time well. So I asked her to step out in the hallway. And I'm so glad I started calmly. I did not yell, I did not show any emotion. T: So, do you know why I pulled you out here? S: Yes, I was talking and being disruptive, but other kids were too. T: That's true, but most of the time, I heard you carrying conversations for a long time that had nothing to do about math. That was from my perspective, but maybe I saw things wrong. S: Well, I don't get any of it and no one can help me. I'm just not good at math. I never have been. Somewhere in my head, the light bulb went off. A-ha* the root problem revealed. T: So talking to other people... is kind of like a coping mechanism? S: I guess. I donno. T: Tell me what your strengths are. S: I donno... English? I'm good at memorization too. T: Cool, what other things are you good at? S: Making diagrams? T: That's great, those are useful skills to have in math.... I'm seeing that one of the ways your showing your frustration in class is by talking about other things. That makes sense. T: But I can't have you continually be disruptive in class and I also don't want you to feel like you don't understand anything. Here's the deal: You need to come to tutoring before the next class (we have block periods). Otherwise, I can't have you working with a group and you'll be seated alone. She was great the rest of the period. I reminded her in the hallway the next day to come see me for tutoring. She came by and we went through some previous work. She got more and more excited as she realized she was capable of learning. I liked this conversation a lot because I connected with the student first and not the behavior. I also provided an actionable next step with a sensible consequence. Hopefully I can remember to keep calm for more of my student interactions. Update 12/5: The student came back for tutoring a second time and was an angel during class. She was 100% a different person.
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