I got to spend some time reading notes from my journal from last year and some of the difficulties I was facing then. One thing that caught my eye was the word patience. I'm not naturally a patient person. In fact, I watch my students work with each other and some of them are more patient with each other than I am. But I do think that I am more patient now than I am before I started teaching.
I get my patience from empathy. Trying to put myself in my students' shoes and understanding that my version of how time should be spent is often not my students' version. I've also found the most success with classroom discipline and student relationships when I'm in this space. I remember about a full year ago, I had been struggling with a student, Juan, who spent 90% of his time in groups talking about non-math related things. He was also failing. I had conversations with his parents, individually talked to him, tutored him one-on-one. And there he was. Period 8. Failing away. As I watched him talk about the newest sports cars instead of functions, I saw myself get frustrated and angry. Why wouldn't he take advantage of the time in class instead of constantly wasting it??? I'm not sure what act of God made me change my perspective, but I suddenly was struck with a thought, "This poor boy did not have the skills not to be distracted when he was with friends, as hard as he might try." I talked to him outside and he looked annoyed. "Great another talk with the teacher telling me how bad I am." This time I said, "I know that this grade you have in my class is not what you want. You've told me yourself you don't want to be failing this class. Be honest with me- what needs to happen so that you can do better in class." He look up, surprised even. This wasn't part of the script. He responded, "Well, I think I do better when I sit by myself." I said, "you know, it takes a lot of self-awareness and self-discipline to say something like that. I'll tell you what. These next couple days, let's have you sit on your own to see how you do." I remember after that conversation, he was SO focused. It was like a light had switched on. I was so much more patient with Juan after I was able to be empathetic. To place myself in his shoes, I was able to not hurry him along or punish him for something he couldn't do. Patience isn't like a reservoir that gets depleted until I'm drained of everything. It's like a muscle that sometimes wears down, but can get stronger. *Names have been changed
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